Make sure that you know that when talking if there’s ever those little quiet spots that sometimes feel like awkward silences. Don’t worry about those. It’s perfectly normal.
Don’t get worried and think “Oh no we don’t have anything to say to each other.” Or “What’s wrong with our relationship?” Even in times when we are together like now, there are moments when she’s reading a book and I’m watching TV. We are sitting on the couch together. We aren’t chatting, but we are just being together. So why are we expecting this to be different with long distance relationships? You can be on Skype, just being there with each other and still do your own thing. You don’t have to chat the whole time. So don’t worry about that. It’s all right.
Tip #2: Your social life might change a bit.
When we started dating and went into the long distance Johan told me he didn’t always feel like he fit in with his single friends anymore because they’d go places and do things that didn’t fit with him anymore, since he was in a relationship now. And with couples as well—like friends who were married or in serious relationships—he didn’t fit in there either because he was missing half of his relationship. It just didn’t feel right.
If you ever feel like that, you may be in an awkward situation there. Anticipate this and be ready for it, because it might happen. But it’s normal.
There’s been so many times in our long distance relationship within the 5.5 years, where people have said things that have really been hurtful and I think that people don’t really realize that these things can come across (hurtful) mean.
They’d say things like:
What are you going to do now?
Who is going to move?
Are you sure that he’s not cheating on you? (I was never asked this question, but know a friend who was.)
People in long-distance relationships are already thinking about those things anyways. They don’t want other people to remind them of those things.
Don’t let it get to you. I don’t think they mean those things in a bad way, they are just ignorant, and they just say things. Don’t worry about it. Shake off the dust and just move on. You know what you have in your relationship and just believe in it.
Yes, it’s okay to look to the future, but don’t let it freak you out too much. Johan said in the video, “I let it happen to us about one year into our relationship and it almost had some very bad consequences. Because I got scared of what was coming.”
Instead just set short term goals like “When are we going to see each other again?” and little things like that. Work toward those and also concentrate on living just every day life – day by day. Work on your relationship then and make it as good as possible, as strong as possible, because that’s where you’re at, at that moment. Make the most of it. Enjoy where you’re at. It might not be the ideal situation, but you can still enjoy your relationship and make it as good and as strong as you can.
If you want to make your long distance relationship THRIVE and you want to build a wolf pack-a community of people who are going to surround you and help you through everything that is ahead in this long distance relationship journey, then be sure to follow our YouTube channel.
What are some things you’ve learned about being in a long-distance relationship?
I am back from South Africa. It was so beautiful. Now I am all inspired and ready for the New Year! Have you written up your New Year’s Resolutions? (I did. Read mine here.)
Often, when South Africa or anywhere in Africa comes to mind, many people get images of women balancing baskets or jugs of water on their heads, while walking down gravel paths that run throughout the countryside. Or they think of the mud huts that people must live in or the wild lions and animals that roam the country.
Thing is, South Africa is actually a very modernized country, but if I might say I often felt like it was part 1st world country and part 3rd world country as there were really lovely areas, but also very dirty and poor areas as well. Oh, and side note… there are no wild lions or dangerous animals roaming around. (All the wild and dangerous animals are in the reserves, which have fences keeping them in.) Continue reading “Out of South Africa”
The past few months have been so busy! So sorry its been awhile since I last posted. Man, have I missed it on here.
I haven’t been able to be on here much the past few months because I was traveling and had an editing deadline for “The Mason of Hearts” and YAY for that… because, I finished it! I sent it to my critique partner. At the moment, I am up to my ears in my critique partner’s edits. I am totally enjoying her story.
• Johan came to visit. It was glorious.
• Thanksgiving. Johan’s first Full Out American Thanksgiving. We had a full house as my grandma and cousin came up and my brother and sister both came home too.
Hello Everyone, I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately, besides the tornado of revisions that spins above my head. I’d love to share some with you about Packing Light.
Packing Lightis a story about one girl’s (Allison Vesterfelt Fallon) adventure across the 50 States of America with a friend. Her goal was to go to each State and write about it.
“We discover what we need when we live without things… Sometimes it’s good for us to need things and not have them.” -Allison Vesterfelt
I came up with an idea to go through all my things when I got home from Australia to figure out what I needed and what I didn’t need. I had spent a year and some abroad in Australia with only two big suitcases and a carry-on bag stuffed full of my stuff.
My clothes. Books. Decorations reminding me of home. My Cameras. My Computer. Everything I needed fit into two suitcases.
Yeah, It was hard to pack at first, but it was tougher packing to go home. I find myself always collecting more and more books, notebooks, and pens.
If you stay in one place long enough you will accumalate stuff and more baggage. Probably more than you need.
In the front pages of Allison’s book she has a Rick Steves Quote was, “You’ll never meet a traveler who, after five trips, brags “Every year I pack heavier.” The Measure of a good traveler is how light he or she travels.”
Allison is a talented writer and brings to light many stories. You can see her humble and kind heart in her writing voice. I recommend this book to anyone who loves to travel, or anyone who wants to travel, but never has. At many parts in her book, I found myself nodding my head in agreement. She really knows what she is talking about. I don’t want to spoil the story for any people, so you must go check it out! 🙂
I decided to take a break from my edits to do a quick update. I apologize that I haven’t posted recently, but I have been in the Revision Prison for a few days. It’s been crazy, because of my deadline. I am reaching for September 23rd!
Keep your eyes open for a tutorial on how to flesh out your characters. Also, this week I will be launching “Devin’s Writing Grotto”, which will be an awesome place to find extra information, tutorials, and freebies on writing.
I’d like to invite Katie Milton back to the blog. Give her a warm welcome. Today she will be talking about understanding your emotions and how that will make you a better writer.
We’ve all met that stoic face behind the cash register at our neighborhood box store. They listlessly scan our items and they inattentively place them in bags. The dollar amount is mumbled as we hand over a fistful of money. It is vanilla, it is plain, it is bland. We are no better or worse than we were when we entered the store.
Compare that to the presumed crazy guy behind the counter that looks you in the eye when he says, “Good Morning!” — And he means it! He sings and undulates his hips in dance like maneuvers as he counts your change. This guy has you putting down your smartphone giving him your full attention as you wonder what he is drinking in his coffee mug. You wonder if his past life included guest performances on Sesame Street.