Just as there are pro’s in every situation, there are also con’s. These will be good to know so that you and your partner can stand up against them and thrive across the distance. Here are a couple of the different con’s to being in a long-distance relationship:
Con #1: You can’t get a hug when you need one.
Con #2: You have to save up and plan ahead, in order, to see each other.
Con #3: You have to plan when to chat inside of time zones.
Con #4: Normal events aren’t as fun because they aren’t there with you.
Con #5: You don’t get to learn your person’s everyday things, especially if you’ve never visited their home and the place when they live.
Con #6: Airport good-byes!
No matter the difference between the Pro’s and Con’s, I’m happier everyday that Johan and I made it work.
Make sure that you know that when talking if there’s ever those little quiet spots that sometimes feel like awkward silences. Don’t worry about those. It’s perfectly normal.
Don’t get worried and think “Oh no we don’t have anything to say to each other.” Or “What’s wrong with our relationship?” Even in times when we are together like now, there are moments when she’s reading a book and I’m watching TV. We are sitting on the couch together. We aren’t chatting, but we are just being together. So why are we expecting this to be different with long distance relationships? You can be on Skype, just being there with each other and still do your own thing. You don’t have to chat the whole time. So don’t worry about that. It’s all right.
Tip #2: Your social life might change a bit.
When we started dating and went into the long distance Johan told me he didn’t always feel like he fit in with his single friends anymore because they’d go places and do things that didn’t fit with him anymore, since he was in a relationship now. And with couples as well—like friends who were married or in serious relationships—he didn’t fit in there either because he was missing half of his relationship. It just didn’t feel right.
If you ever feel like that, you may be in an awkward situation there. Anticipate this and be ready for it, because it might happen. But it’s normal.
There’s been so many times in our long distance relationship within the 5.5 years, where people have said things that have really been hurtful and I think that people don’t really realize that these things can come across (hurtful) mean.
They’d say things like:
What are you going to do now?
Who is going to move?
Are you sure that he’s not cheating on you? (I was never asked this question, but know a friend who was.)
People in long-distance relationships are already thinking about those things anyways. They don’t want other people to remind them of those things.
Don’t let it get to you. I don’t think they mean those things in a bad way, they are just ignorant, and they just say things. Don’t worry about it. Shake off the dust and just move on. You know what you have in your relationship and just believe in it.
Yes, it’s okay to look to the future, but don’t let it freak you out too much. Johan said in the video, “I let it happen to us about one year into our relationship and it almost had some very bad consequences. Because I got scared of what was coming.”
Instead just set short term goals like “When are we going to see each other again?” and little things like that. Work toward those and also concentrate on living just every day life – day by day. Work on your relationship then and make it as good as possible, as strong as possible, because that’s where you’re at, at that moment. Make the most of it. Enjoy where you’re at. It might not be the ideal situation, but you can still enjoy your relationship and make it as good and as strong as you can.
If you want to make your long distance relationship THRIVE and you want to build a wolf pack-a community of people who are going to surround you and help you through everything that is ahead in this long distance relationship journey, then be sure to follow our YouTube channel.
What are some things you’ve learned about being in a long-distance relationship?
Congratulations! You’ve just survived a long-distance relationship. The hardest part is over. You reached across the distance and held onto each other and now you are together in the same place.
What To Do Now, Since The Long-Distance Is Over
You just defied the social norms and made your long-distance relationship work. You are finally together! You aren’t separated anymore, which is great, but it’s different and it will take time to get used to each other’s quirks. It’s normal to go through a little phase where there will be a couple small quibbles and misunderstandings about small things you both like or don’t like.
That’s the thing with any relationship though, there will be small little problems and small victories, but the great thing is that you get to work through it together in the same place, which in the long run is much better than across the distance. And yay, for making it to a place where you can work on those things in the same place.
Trust me it will get easier once you both work together and listen to each others likes, dislikes, and thoughts.
There is no longer that separation between the two of you, called distance. When you were separated by distance, if there was a problem you could get off the phone or Skype with each other and you could go do your own thing and not really worry about the problem. But now when there is a fight you have to share the space with each other and learn how to work together to make things turn out right.
What You Can Do To Make The Non-Distance Work
Here are a couple things you can do to make the transition from distance to no distance sweeter.
Pay attention to each other and talk things through.
If certain things bother you about your partner, like how they do something around the house, let them know in a kind way.
If there are things that bother you about each other, plan a family meeting for once a week where you can talk out the issues in a respectful manner. The main thing is that you continue to show respect to each other when talking about problems.
Pray and read the Bible together.
If your partner says “If you could please do this for me… or it bothers me when…” Listen and don’t argue. Take it as a kind request and know there is a reason why it probably bothers your partner. There is no need to argue.
Do special things together to grow your relationship like: Get take-out and have a picnic on the living-room floor and go for a walk together after work.
When your partner is talking, really listen. Set down what you are doing and pay attention to what is being said. Give your partner your full attention. This makes a person feel loved.
If you have the day off and your partner is working today, clean the house, so it’s nice and clean for when your partner gets home. Then they won’t feel stressed when they get home and you’ll have a relaxing evening together.
Do small little wonderful things for each other. Get her some flowers and chocolate just because. Or get him a gift that he’d enjoy.
The main thing to making a long-distance relationship work after the distance is just to continue going the distance for each other. Thankfully you don’t have to hate being held apart by distance any longer. Sometimes people forget that even though you are together now, that you don’t have to go the distance for each other anymore.
If you continue to go the distance for your love, then you’ll not only make the non-distance work, you’ll thrive!
Remember, this is a great thing! You survived the actual distance.
What things do you do to show your partner you love them?