Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale.
[Tweet “Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale.”]
I’ve always loved that saying. And thinking back on it now, I can’t believe that life gave me a fairytale.
On June 11th (this is funny looking back at this because, little did I know that in two years I’d be getting married on the same day) I went to Fargo with my sister for a girl’s day filled with back massages, Chinese food, manicures, and arial yoga. That’s a perfect combination for a lovely day!
Later that night we were going to pick up my sister’s friend from college, at the airport. She’d been planning to come out to visit for the summer. At the airport, we waited for her to get off the plane. I was told to look for a small blonde girl, and I swear I hadn’t seen one small blonde girl. She never came. In hindsight, it was also odd, because my sister and parents were acting a little strange. They seemed to be acting too excited for my sister’s friend to be arriving. I continued watching for her, but all of a sudden a guy came up to me. At first I felt like someone was invading my personal bubble, but then when I realized who it was I jumped out of my skin.
[Tweet “The one time Johan came for a surprise visit! This is our engagement story:”]
He had told me he was going to visit his parents in Perth, Australia. (At that time he lived in Brisbane, Australia.) So he orchestrated the whole visit with my parents and his. He had to account for the moments he was on the plane, so he even had his mom text me something like “Hello Love, I arrived in Perth. My phone died, so just thought I’d text ya from my mum’s phone to let you know I made it. I’m going to bed now! Love you!”
You know you’ve seen it in the movies on the silver screen.
The lead male protagonist moves closer, while gently putting his hand around her neck. The emotional music trills in the background as he leans in to kiss her. While pulling away he says “Jen, I just don’t think we can do this anymore.” “Why do you say that?” Jen’s eyes shoot open. “It’ll just be too hard. I am moving to the other side of the country and long-distance relationships never work anyways.”
I know I’ve seen it, and more than once. It’s just an example of one of the ways that Hollywood lies to us. It’s shown differently in every movie and some scenes are more romantic while others are worst. It’s one of Hollywood’s biggest lies.
Make sure that you know that when talking if there’s ever those little quiet spots that sometimes feel like awkward silences. Don’t worry about those. It’s perfectly normal.
Don’t get worried and think “Oh no we don’t have anything to say to each other.” Or “What’s wrong with our relationship?” Even in times when we are together like now, there are moments when she’s reading a book and I’m watching TV. We are sitting on the couch together. We aren’t chatting, but we are just being together. So why are we expecting this to be different with long distance relationships? You can be on Skype, just being there with each other and still do your own thing. You don’t have to chat the whole time. So don’t worry about that. It’s all right.
Tip #2: Your social life might change a bit.
When we started dating and went into the long distance Johan told me he didn’t always feel like he fit in with his single friends anymore because they’d go places and do things that didn’t fit with him anymore, since he was in a relationship now. And with couples as well—like friends who were married or in serious relationships—he didn’t fit in there either because he was missing half of his relationship. It just didn’t feel right.
If you ever feel like that, you may be in an awkward situation there. Anticipate this and be ready for it, because it might happen. But it’s normal.
There’s been so many times in our long distance relationship within the 5.5 years, where people have said things that have really been hurtful and I think that people don’t really realize that these things can come across (hurtful) mean.
They’d say things like:
What are you going to do now?
Who is going to move?
Are you sure that he’s not cheating on you? (I was never asked this question, but know a friend who was.)
People in long-distance relationships are already thinking about those things anyways. They don’t want other people to remind them of those things.
Don’t let it get to you. I don’t think they mean those things in a bad way, they are just ignorant, and they just say things. Don’t worry about it. Shake off the dust and just move on. You know what you have in your relationship and just believe in it.
Yes, it’s okay to look to the future, but don’t let it freak you out too much. Johan said in the video, “I let it happen to us about one year into our relationship and it almost had some very bad consequences. Because I got scared of what was coming.”
Instead just set short term goals like “When are we going to see each other again?” and little things like that. Work toward those and also concentrate on living just every day life – day by day. Work on your relationship then and make it as good as possible, as strong as possible, because that’s where you’re at, at that moment. Make the most of it. Enjoy where you’re at. It might not be the ideal situation, but you can still enjoy your relationship and make it as good and as strong as you can.
If you want to make your long distance relationship THRIVE and you want to build a wolf pack-a community of people who are going to surround you and help you through everything that is ahead in this long distance relationship journey, then be sure to follow our YouTube channel.
What are some things you’ve learned about being in a long-distance relationship?
Congratulations! You’ve just survived a long-distance relationship. The hardest part is over. You reached across the distance and held onto each other and now you are together in the same place.
What To Do Now, Since The Long-Distance Is Over
You just defied the social norms and made your long-distance relationship work. You are finally together! You aren’t separated anymore, which is great, but it’s different and it will take time to get used to each other’s quirks. It’s normal to go through a little phase where there will be a couple small quibbles and misunderstandings about small things you both like or don’t like.
That’s the thing with any relationship though, there will be small little problems and small victories, but the great thing is that you get to work through it together in the same place, which in the long run is much better than across the distance. And yay, for making it to a place where you can work on those things in the same place.
Trust me it will get easier once you both work together and listen to each others likes, dislikes, and thoughts.
There is no longer that separation between the two of you, called distance. When you were separated by distance, if there was a problem you could get off the phone or Skype with each other and you could go do your own thing and not really worry about the problem. But now when there is a fight you have to share the space with each other and learn how to work together to make things turn out right.
What You Can Do To Make The Non-Distance Work
Here are a couple things you can do to make the transition from distance to no distance sweeter.
Pay attention to each other and talk things through.
If certain things bother you about your partner, like how they do something around the house, let them know in a kind way.
If there are things that bother you about each other, plan a family meeting for once a week where you can talk out the issues in a respectful manner. The main thing is that you continue to show respect to each other when talking about problems.
Pray and read the Bible together.
If your partner says “If you could please do this for me… or it bothers me when…” Listen and don’t argue. Take it as a kind request and know there is a reason why it probably bothers your partner. There is no need to argue.
Do special things together to grow your relationship like: Get take-out and have a picnic on the living-room floor and go for a walk together after work.
When your partner is talking, really listen. Set down what you are doing and pay attention to what is being said. Give your partner your full attention. This makes a person feel loved.
If you have the day off and your partner is working today, clean the house, so it’s nice and clean for when your partner gets home. Then they won’t feel stressed when they get home and you’ll have a relaxing evening together.
Do small little wonderful things for each other. Get her some flowers and chocolate just because. Or get him a gift that he’d enjoy.
The main thing to making a long-distance relationship work after the distance is just to continue going the distance for each other. Thankfully you don’t have to hate being held apart by distance any longer. Sometimes people forget that even though you are together now, that you don’t have to go the distance for each other anymore.
If you continue to go the distance for your love, then you’ll not only make the non-distance work, you’ll thrive!
Remember, this is a great thing! You survived the actual distance.
What things do you do to show your partner you love them?
I was halfway between Hawaii and Australia when all I wanted to do was jump out of the plane to ease the restlessness in my legs. I walked down the aisle every few hours and that wasn’t enough.
Couldn’t I be there already? I aimlessly scrolled through the movies and found countless romantic comedies about couples living oceans apart. I chuckled silently, while thinking, Hollywood doesn’t even have a clue when it comes to what long distance relationship couples go through.
[Tweet “Hollywood doesn’t have a clue to what couples in #longdistancerelationships go through.”]
Long distance relationships are romanticised much like everything else in Hollywood. Hollywood knows about the excitement and beauty of long distance relationships, but they stop there. They really don’t show the truth behind the long distance relationship story!
Many people fall for someone with a different accent thinking it will be easy like it is in the movies. And long distance relationships can in fact, be blessings, the couple just needs to equip themselves properly.
Communication is the key
It’s extremely important for those in long distance relationships to keep their communication line open. Technology has made it easier for people in long distance relationships.
[Tweet “Technology really shortens the distance in #longdistancerelationships”]
There are many amazing things about being with someone you love. But sometimes It can be hard, especially when you are separated by an ocean. Here are 5 things I hate about long distance relationships & some things that will help you through them.
1. Saying “See You Later” at The Airport
It’s one of the worst feelings a person in a long distance relationship can experience.
You embrace one another tightly. Almost as though you’ll never let go, but then you must.
It’s crazy to think that it’s my blog’s 4th anniversary today and about how much I’ve done in the past 4 years.
4 years ago I was a Senior majoring in English/mass communications and a certificate in Publishing at Minnesota State University of Moorhead. I was flying to Australia to spend a semester studying abroad. Actually at this very moment, 4 years ago – I had already been in Australia for about a week or a little under.
It’s crazy because, if you told me to look ahead – I’d probably not have imagined it all.
Are you in a Long Distance Relationship? Or do you know someone who is?
The other day I got a hair cut, which I really like. The stylist I usually go to wasn’t in, so I had someone else. Which was a bother because once you find someone nice who cuts your hair, you don’t want to have someone else. Am I right?
It’s always interesting when you sit down to get your hair cut. This stylist asked me a question that reminded me of a few things that really bother me. I told her my boyfriend lives in Australia. And her response?
How has the beginning of summer been for everyone?
I’ve been having a grand ole’ time.
My boyfriend just got to Sydney, Australia and will be catching his next flight in the morning (Australia time). I am getting excited that he will be here tomorrow night. Time changes are different aren’t they? But, yes… I am definitely excited. It has been about 5 months since I last saw him. Crazy, right? I have been writing articals and blog entries on long distance relationships. Who would be interested in seeing some of them? I believe they would be very helpful to others in long distance relationships. They aren’t easy – but most definitely worth it. Continue reading “Can’t Wait for Him to Arrive Tomorrow…”