It’s a bad habit. I tend to let energy vampires drain me of my creative energy. Do you have this problem too? It’s not a secret or habit I like. It’s something I’ve been learning to guard against. It’s important that you don’t let them do this to you, your creativity, or your business. Because these energy vampires are lurking in every area of your life.
Energy Vampires Are A Real Thing
Everyday people deal with them, but so did artists from long ago. There was a sculptor by the name of Constantin Brâncuși and he knew Picasso. But from what I read, it almost sounds like he wish he hadn’t known him. He is known for saying, “Picasso is a cannibal,”
After spending any amount of time with Picasso, anyone who was present was bound to be worn out, while Picasso made off with their energy. He’d go to his studio and live off his victim’s energy.
Has anyone ever copied you? It’s not a nice feeling to have a part of you mimicked by someone else. It isn’t fun to have your soul yanked out of you and then acted upon by someone who isn’t you, isn’t fun.
Keep reading to find out some helpful tips on how to deal with copycats.
How To Deal With Your Copycat
You are unique. Be confident in it. Take a stand for who you are.
“A man who stands for nothing, will fall for anything.” -Malcolm X
1. Don’t share secrets with your copycat.
This may be hard, especially depending on how close you are to the copycat.
You have to think whether it’s really worth sharing your ideas with them. I’ve chatted with people about writing ideas before and a few days later I find out that they are writing something a little too similar to my story, which isn’t fun.
Sometimes it’s just not worth it.
So from experience, If they ask you about your story don’t tell them about it. If they asked you where you got your shirt, be discreet and say you don’t remember.
2. Sell yourself the BEST you can
If your copycat tries copying things that you are doing or something you are creating, don’t let them sell it better than you.
It was your idea originally. Be the unique person you are and sell the idea the best you can. They won’t be able to stand a fighting chance. Since you are the one who got the ideas in the first place. There is only one – you!
3. Encourage them in their own uniqueness
Maybe you are shopping with them and see some awesome clothes that you want to get, but you know if you point it out in front of them they’ll buy it before you can even say “But, I was picking that out for me.”
Point out outfits you think might look nice on your them. Say things like “Wow, this outfit would look amazing on you!” or “Green really makes your eyes pop.” You’ll find that they’ll eat all your compliments up.
When you do this, you are helping them see what is unique and original about themselves. I believe sometimes that copycats have a tough time identifying their uniqueness, because they are always trying to be someone else. Then when they are in the dressing room trying it on go get the clothes you wanted to try on.
4. Which kind of copycat do you have?
There are a few different kinds of copycats: One is nicer to deal with, while the other can be a thorn in your side. But those two can admire you or be jealous of you for either your appearance or your ideas or even both.
One just admires you. For this kind of copycat, try to be gentle and kind. Encourage them in finding and showing off their own unique person.
While the other is just jealous of you. For this copycat, if you can, try drop them. They really aren’t good for your health or well-being. I know it can be hard, especially if you have a relative who is this kind of copycat.
Have a relative like this copycat? If they bring you down and make you feel horrible, I recommend trying not to see them as often as you need to. When you do see them, just keep your mouth shut and smile. That will bother them. If you do anything, encourage them in the things that might make them unique.
Appearance Thief: This one wants to be you, when it comes to your style and personality.
Idea Thief: The idea thief loves your ideas so much that they want them for themselves.
5. If nothing works… talk to them
Sometimes the only thing you can do is talk to your copycat. If you’ve tried other things, but it doesn’t work you may just have to talk to them straight up.
Sit down and talk to them. Tell them that you didn’t appreciate it. And then distance yourself from them.
How Do I Talk To Them?
Sitting down to confront your copycat can be scary.
Here are some helpful things to tell them:
It really bothers me that you copied me _________________ (State the time).
You are a unique and creative person. I just don’t understand why you feel like you have to copy me. I love __________, _____________, and ________________ (name characteristics about them that you love or see could be great if they focused on it.) about you!
I really love you as a friend, but I can’t continue to hang out with or talk to you about these things because you just steal my ideas and I don’t appreciate that at all. So if you can’t stop copying me, I can’t be your friend anymore. (If they stole your idea and don’t want to stop copying you, you might have to tell them something like this. It may be difficult.)
The First Copy-Cat, That I Remember
I encountered a copy-cat for the first time (I believe) when I was in 5th grade when I was sitting on the bus with my best friend. We were bundled in our fluffy winter jackets with our backpacks at our feet as we spoke. I was so excited to show my friend an idea I had. I trusted her. Of course, she wouldn’t steal my ideas. I reached into my unzipped backpack and brought out a small locked journal.
This was one of the first times I chose to share something I had written with someone other than a teacher or my parents. I opened the clasped journal with a kitty on it. I flipped the page to the spot I wanted to show her. Small pictures of little fairy people who I’d drawn along with a story that went along with it.
She got onto the bus the next day and then she showed me a picture she had drawn. She said, “Devin, I am writing a story too.” A hint of panic struck my stomach. She wasn’t the type to write stories or draw. Her story was identical to my story. I didn’t think this kind of thing could happen. While looking at her drawing on the paper, it was an exact replica of the drawing in my story.
When I saw the picture she’d drawn a hint of panic struck through me and curdled my stomach. Her story was identical to mine and the pictures of the fairies resembled mine. At that young age, I experienced the fear that came along with someone stealing your ideas or work.
This is something that I never thought would be possible. I thought everyone had their own unique ideas and that they wouldn’t ever think of stealing other people’s ideas. I sure know I wouldn’t.
We all know that when it comes to real life, that Hollywood movies are fun to watch, but that they aren’t really realistic especially when it comes to long-distance relationships. I know from experience. So I wanted to shed some light on the truths behind these lies.
Why You Shouldn’t Get Discouraged By Hollywood’s Lies about Long-Distance Relationships
…And long story short, we thrived in and out of our long-distance relationship. Of course there were ups and downs. We made it work. That’s the important thing. I want to encourage you to ignore the lies about long-distance relationships that the world tries throwing at you, because more than anything it’s just going to discourage you.
What you need to do instead, is listen to those who have gone before you. I’m here to guide you, hold your hand, and chat with you over a chai latte in a coffee shop to tell you it’s normal and that you don’t have to listen to the lies. I totally care about you and your relationship.
For most of my life, I’ve written stories. I’ve thought in stories. Stories were a form of survival for me, I believe.
I’ve loved telling stories about made-up characters and as time went on I started my first blog, that I thought of more like an online journal. Remember the blogging platform, Xanga? Yep, that’s a blast from the past.
As time went on, I graduated high-school and went to college, studied abroad in Australia, met the man of my dreams, graduated college, lived and worked in Las Vegas (I’m originally from the Midwest, so that was a bit too hot for me.), moved back to the midwest, survived and thrived in a long-distance relationship, and worked countless corporate jobs. While working, I almost constantly felt “What am I doing here? I’m not meant to do this.” or “I hate my job.”
So all while working, I kept writing. Not seriously or consistently. But I kept writing on the side.
How Life Writing Wanderlust Came About?
A few months before my wedding, I was trying to decide what I was going to do with my online presence and writing identity. You see, for my whole life anything I’d written was written under my maiden name. Instead of keeping my writing under a name, I decided to have it under a name. That’s when I had to think about what I’d call myself. That’s when Life Writing Wanderlust, was born. I didn’t want to be stuck behind a name url. I wanted to write from a place of who I am as a writer — Life (life & business), Writing (blogging & publication), and Wanderlust (travel related).
I write about personal development, leadership skills, and how to live your best life. I find it deeply important that people love what they do. So I also share ways to help people do just that!
I write about writing, publishing, and blogging to share my journey, but also help you jump over valleys and pitfalls.
I write about wanderlust and travel. I also cover subjects on expat living, studying abroad, and long-distance relationships. I studied abroad in Australia and lived there for a year. My husband is from South Africa and Australia. That’s where we met. We were in a 5.5 year long-distance relationship and have now been in the same place happily married.
You can find out more about me & Life Writing Wanderlust here.
I’ve been working for myself a little more than a year. I absolutely love having freedom as an entrepreneur! I actually can’t believe I’m coming up on a year and a half here soon. And you know what? I’ve been enjoying every minute of it. But especially, I love how it’s given me the freedom to live the way I love living.
When I originally wrote this post, I’d just put my 2 week’s notice in at my full time job. I was so excited, but honestly I was annoyed and worried about all the questions I was getting from people around me about “quitting my full time job.” Which I understand. I wasn’t afraid of not having the benefits or the good pay that that full-time job gave me.
But in my life now, I’ve found that there are two kinds of people: 1. The kinds that have all the money in the world. And 2. Those that have all the time in the world. And I didn’t want to be the one with no time in the world and all the money in the world. I decided I’d find more money elsewhere. Time is the main reason I chose freedom as an entrepreneur.
This book called out to me from the moment I saw it. I’ve felt drawn into it, because I feel like it’s been my life. I’ve always done things a bit differently and gone other places from being homeschooled to studying abroad to having my own business.
I love how in this book, showed how we are pilgrims and I could totally relate. I also love how steeped in scripture it was as well!
This would be a wonderful book for anyone who loves adventure, wishes to wander more, and people who are pilgrims in their own ways even if they aren’t traveling the world.
Last week, I went with my parent in-laws to see Trump. He came to Fargo, N.D. so of course we had to go see him.
How often does your President travel to your home city? Not often, so when he comes, you go see him. We waited in line for about four hours and it was HOT.
Even though the wait was long, the experience was great!
My father-in-law really enjoyed it. They really love America and working to come here. That’s one thing that’s really close to my heart. Since I’ve gone through the immigration process with my husband. But I’m all for coming the correct way, because I know how much paper work is involved. So that’s going to be one of Johan and my goals in the next year– to get Johan’s parents here in America.
I’m so thankful to live in America. When I traveled a lot, I noticed how in many countries it’s far and few that you actually see the country’s flags. But here, you basically see one on every corner, store, and street. I’m very patriotic and so thankful that God placed the right people in history at the right time.
I just think America is a miracle. There are so many times in history, where we could have lost or the country wouldn’t be the same as it is today. There were countless times during the Revolutionary War where we could have lost our country. During the Civil War there were times that we could have lost and become two countries.
I’m proud to be an American. I hope you are too. Many people don’t have the same Freedom that was paid for in blood. Our blood runs Red, White, and Blue.
Life has been so crazy busy lately, but I’ve been trying to read more. I recently read Money Problems, Marriage Solutions by Chuck and Ann Bentley, through a blogging program I’m a part of.
I absolutely loved the cover. I mean, look at it?!! What a cool way to illustrate a married couple handling their money, a blue and pink piggy bank. So cute.
This book was good, but It really focused a lot on uniting your marriage first, and aligning your finances through that. Which is good, but I really wish there’d been more on money management and tips for solving those.
Although I did enjoy where they spoke about saving an emergency fund for 15 months, rather than 3-6 months. That seemed smart to me. Another tip I really loved was that they would match however much their children saved. So that would definitely encourage them to save, which is a really good thing.
But, this would be a wonderful book for newlyweds or engaged couples to read. I would definitely read their other books, but was expecting more on solving money problems.
“Oh, I’m too busy.” or “I just can’t at this time.” or “I’ll do it someday.”
Have you ever heard someone say this? Or maybe you’ve thought it yourself?
I just want to stop you there. I want to stop my brain from ever uttering those words ever again. It really BOTHERS me whenever I hear people give all the reasons for why they can’t achieve their dreams. Or why they can’t do something.
As a leader in my company, I’ve noticed this more and more recently. It strikes a chord, because I know I’ve said it at some point In my life as well. But, I’ve been confronting that saying in my life, because I want to accomplish as much as I can in this life I’ve been given.
If I’d given excuses, I wouldn’t have done any of the half marathons I’ve run in. I wouldn’t have studied abroad when I was in college. And I definitely wouldn’t have quite my full-time job to work for myself.
The thing is though, cemeteries are filled with unfulfilled dreams and goals. I don’t care how much work it’s going to take, but you better guess it… I’m going to achieve my goals and dreams!
So, from THIS MOMENT. We aren’t going to make excuses anymore. We are going to achieve and chase after our dreams. Right?
What are you avoiding with excuses?
I want you to take out a notebook and I want you to write up the different things you’ve been avoiding?
Why are you avoiding them?
Most of the time we make excuses because of two things: either we are scared or lazy.
Now, I want you to achieve your goals. Throw out the excuses!!!
I picture myself hiking up a grand mountain surrounded by beautiful trees, chirping birds, and wild animals. That peaceful sound of silence with the wind blowing through my hair. In some areas of the hike, you are the ONLY person on the trail. Revitalizing.
I know from experience when climbing a mountain, you can be overwhelmed by the gorgeousness of nature. That’s a good thing, because it helps you forget about the strenuous activity you are partaking in to scale the mountain.
Last year I came up with a word for 2017. It was reach. (On Wednesday, I’ll be sharing a post on how my 2017 word turned out.) When I started brainstorming what I want to achieve in 2018 and what my word for the New Year could be, I started thinking about climbing a mountain and how peaceful it could be.
And yet how tough climbing a mountain can be. With all the things, I am going to achieve this year, I decided the mountain image was perfect for inspiring my word because amidst how hard climbing a mountain would be, it would all be worth it in the end. I’ll make it to the top and look back, seeing how far I’d climbed. I’ll be happier, healthier, and more successful.
So I decided my one word for 2018 is:
Elevate: | ˈeləˌvāt |
verb [with object]
Raise or lift (something) up to a higher position.• Raise to a more important or impressive level.• Increase the level or amount of (something.)