So You Are In A Long Distance Relationship?
First off… I want to congratulate you. You are strong and I am proud of you. I can image that since you searched “Do long distance relationships work?” that you are wondering if you and your partner can make it the long haul.
I want you to know that you are doing something that many people could never do.
You are going the distance for your lover and you want to make it work. Good on you.
I’m sure you want someone to help you through this time of being away from your love. A guiding hand of some sorts, because I know it can be difficult. It is difficult and without encouragement, trust, and love. But I want you to know I am here for you.
Let’s jump in.
About 5.5 years ago I also went searching online for helpful tips and encouragement that would help me and my boyfriend to survive our long distance relationship against all the odds that seemed to be ever presently in front of us.
Do you feel the same way? If so….
You Are In The Right Place…
I am now married to Johan and we survived the distance (between Queensland Australia and Minnesota, USA). We experienced good and bad. We went through struggles and triumphs. We’ve grown together and learned so much about each other and I believe that the distance really helped us with that.
Something that I’ve found from being in a long distance relationship is that some couples in relationships that bridge the distance are actually closer than some couples in the same city or house mainly because couples (this also depends on the couple and their personality) in long distance relationships build their relationships on communication and trust.
That’s the best foundation to any relationship.
The First Things You Should Know
Don’t let other’s attitudes, doubts, or comments make you doubt your relationship. This is only between you and your partner.
The best way to have trust and communication is to get everything out on the table as soon as possible.
I’ve known people that have been in long distance relationships only to be a few years into their relationship before they finally found out about a skeleton in their boyfriend or girlfriend’s closet. It was more like a skeleton eating monster because it engulfed their relationship.
Sit Down And Talk It Out
Schedule a time to sit down with your partner to talk out everything.
Are there things in your past that might make your partner mad at you if they find out about it later from someone else? Talk it out right away. Get it out on the table.
Don’t Let Naysayers and Judgey People Get To You.
As a person who is in a long-distance relationship, you will see and meet people who are negative when it comes to your relationship. Mostly because it’s different and they don’t understand it.
Which doesn’t give them a right to act that way, but just so you know so you can be compassionate towards them.
Find Some Support From Encouraging People Around You.
Since you know there are going to be negative people when it comes to your relationship, I want to stress how important it is to have an encouraging team around you and your partner so that you are getting fed positive, encouraging, and kind words.
Also so that you have a listening ear. For me and Johan, my mom was some of our encouragement.
Something To Remember: Don’t discuss your problems with your family and friends. It’s important that you discuss these things with your partner. Otherwise how will you ever work your way through the problems?
Long Distance Relationships Do Work.
I want you to know that these relationships do work, but like with any relationship there are good and bad things. There will be rocky bits and smooth parts. And you just need to know that. This happens whenever two different people from different places with different cultures come together as one.
It’s just good to keep that in mind so that you know you aren’t weird if things are ever difficult.
When Conversations Get Quiet.
Something that Johan and I struggled with when we first started dating across the distance was that sometimes there would be silence on the video chats. Conversations would go quiet.
It worried us both and made us feel like we weren’t doing so good as a couple.
But really, when you are hanging out with someone… do you talk non-stop? Or are their silent parts?
I’ve learned that there are pleanty of quiet spots. And that is okay. You don’t have to be talking non-stop. Listen. And enjoy each other in the silence. Because it will happen, but that doesn’t mean anything bad.
You Have What It Takes To Make This Work…
With trust, open communication, and encouragement from friends and family you have what it takes to make your long distance relationship work. You no longer have to wonder if long distance relationships work. Because they do.
Here are more posts on making your long distance relationship work:
- What Hollywood Forgot To Tell You About Long Distance Relationships
- A-Zs of Surviving A Long Distance Relationship