You know you’ve seen it in the movies on the silver screen.
The lead male protagonist moves closer, while gently putting his hand around her neck. The emotional music trills in the background as he leans in to kiss her. While pulling away he says “Jen, I just don’t think we can do this anymore.” “Why do you say that?” Jen’s eyes shoot open. “It’ll just be too hard. I am moving to the other side of the country and long-distance relationships never work anyways.”
I know I’ve seen it, and more than once. It’s just an example of one of the ways that Hollywood lies to us. It’s shown differently in every movie and some scenes are more romantic while others are worst. It’s one of Hollywood’s biggest lies.
This is a letter to the couple in a long-distance relationship. If you are in a long-distance relationship, you are in the right place. Or do you know a couple in a long-distance relationship? Shoot this to a friend who might be in one.
Dear Couple In A Long-Distance Relationship,
I want you to know you aren’t alone.
Even on those really hard days when all you need is a hug from your partner, but you can’t because you aren’t in the same place. Believe me, I know how you feel. I was right where you are, two years ago. And we were in one for a total of 5.5 years.
There were many beautiful times and some hard times as well.
Sometimes we were apart for longer and other times we got to see each other more frequently.
Make sure that you know that when talking if there’s ever those little quiet spots that sometimes feel like awkward silences. Don’t worry about those. It’s perfectly normal.
Don’t get worried and think “Oh no we don’t have anything to say to each other.” Or “What’s wrong with our relationship?” Even in times when we are together like now, there are moments when she’s reading a book and I’m watching TV. We are sitting on the couch together. We aren’t chatting, but we are just being together. So why are we expecting this to be different with long distance relationships? You can be on Skype, just being there with each other and still do your own thing. You don’t have to chat the whole time. So don’t worry about that. It’s all right.
Tip #2: Your social life might change a bit.
When we started dating and went into the long distance Johan told me he didn’t always feel like he fit in with his single friends anymore because they’d go places and do things that didn’t fit with him anymore, since he was in a relationship now. And with couples as well—like friends who were married or in serious relationships—he didn’t fit in there either because he was missing half of his relationship. It just didn’t feel right.
If you ever feel like that, you may be in an awkward situation there. Anticipate this and be ready for it, because it might happen. But it’s normal.
There’s been so many times in our long distance relationship within the 5.5 years, where people have said things that have really been hurtful and I think that people don’t really realize that these things can come across (hurtful) mean.
They’d say things like:
What are you going to do now?
Who is going to move?
Are you sure that he’s not cheating on you? (I was never asked this question, but know a friend who was.)
People in long-distance relationships are already thinking about those things anyways. They don’t want other people to remind them of those things.
Don’t let it get to you. I don’t think they mean those things in a bad way, they are just ignorant, and they just say things. Don’t worry about it. Shake off the dust and just move on. You know what you have in your relationship and just believe in it.
Yes, it’s okay to look to the future, but don’t let it freak you out too much. Johan said in the video, “I let it happen to us about one year into our relationship and it almost had some very bad consequences. Because I got scared of what was coming.”
Instead just set short term goals like “When are we going to see each other again?” and little things like that. Work toward those and also concentrate on living just every day life – day by day. Work on your relationship then and make it as good as possible, as strong as possible, because that’s where you’re at, at that moment. Make the most of it. Enjoy where you’re at. It might not be the ideal situation, but you can still enjoy your relationship and make it as good and as strong as you can.
If you want to make your long distance relationship THRIVE and you want to build a wolf pack-a community of people who are going to surround you and help you through everything that is ahead in this long distance relationship journey, then be sure to follow our YouTube channel.
What are some things you’ve learned about being in a long-distance relationship?
I never thought I’d fly half way around the world. The idea of it frightened me.
In High-School, I met many exchange students. I could describe most of them in this way: full of life, young, living with families they didn’t know, and most likely they spoke a different language. I am sure you know what I mean?
I was always drawn to these people because there was something drastically and beautifully different about them. Not just because they were from other countries and that their accents were gorgeous! But because they’d seen so much of the world and in my eyes they were much further ahead than those who had never been out of their state.
It was one day in the library at my Middle School that changed my 8th grade year. Her name was Silvia Atanosava. And she became my best friend that year!
My family took her under our wing. It was almost like I had a big sister. She was an exchange student from Bulgaria which, before meeting her I had never even heard of.
After seeing her come here on her own, I found myself thinking, “Maybe, I will go study and travel abroad someday as well.”
[Tweet “Have you ever wanted to study abroad?”]
[Tweet “Do you want to live abroad?”]
[Tweet “Have you ever had someone you know well tell you, they want to study or live abroad?”]
(If you have twitter, choose which option you fall under (above). I would love to know if you have lived abroad or not! Either way! I get excited when I talk about these things.)
If your answer was yes to any of these questions, read on – because I have some things that will help you reach your dreams.
While in Mexico on a family vacation in 2009, I decided I wanted to stay there and maybe study abroad. As soon as I got home I looked into the qualifications of studying abroad in certain countries.
I’d studied Spanish in High-School, but hadn’t been speaking it or listening to it for a few years.
Which got me thinking… Hmm… where is it warm… and where they also speak English.
Only one place hopped into my mind as swiftly as a kangaroo.
It was a continent and country of it’s own. A red country full of desert, a country full of accents, Kangaroos, Koalas, Dingos, and giant poisonous spiders and snakes. Or at least that is what I thought!
Note from Devin: In this post, I dig deep into something that really annoys and hurts people in long distance relationships. This post will help you communicate and love people in long distance relationships in a way that will strengthen them in their long distance journey.
I sat quietly in the tour van as the lady in front of me talked loudly about how her daughter lived abroad in Asia. She went on to say that she’d been teaching there for a year.
“I am so happy she didn’t fall in love with anyone abroad.” She clucked to the other women around her.
This is something I just love putting people on the spot with. Because I truly hate it when people try to make couples in long distance relationships feel like they are a mutated untouchable alien just because they love someone from far away.
Listen up people.
It’s not okay. I am sure that you don’t want to knowingly hurt people, but couples in long distance relationships are already undergoing something that many people will never be able to understand or even imagine. I know, because I’ve experienced it.
What to do about the trolls living upstairs – Noisy Neighbors
I’ve come to a conclusion that you are two trolls who love dancing polka with your granite shoes at all hours of the day.
You don’t know the meaning of quiet or respect when it comes to keeping the volume down. I guess that is what makes you the loud upstairs neighbors in my life. I want to divorce you.
I’ve been respectful and have reached out to you to ask that you keep it down. But, it’s coming to a time where I don’t know what to do anymore. I am at my wits end. I’ve called the landlord and I’ve even sunk to using the broom on the ceiling, but you still intend on being a troll with no neighbor values or politeness.
What will it take for you to stop being so loud?
I work from 9-5pm and then come home. I don’t want to hear your music pounding and shattering through the walls and my ceiling. Stop being the loud upstairs neighbor. I really dislike you when you are so loud.
Please, for the love of humanity… turn down the music blaring in the bathroom, lower your TV’s volume, and stop tromping around so loudly. I’m afraid that one of these days I will wake up to find your feet sticking through the ceiling.
How do you survive apartment living with a loud upstairs neighbor?
It’s officially been a little more than a week in Vegas for me. I’ve been busy getting settled into Vegas.
And that means some touristy things as well. I’ve actually never had a photo next to the “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas” sign. And to make it even more Vegas cliché, I might add that an overweight Elvis took our photos.
But besides all the touristy things one can get up to in Vegas, you might be surprised to know that really Vegas isn’t “JUST” the Strip. That is really the main reason why people come to Vegas. The Strip.
The majority of people who live in Vegas rarely go to the Strip. Vegas outside of the Strip, is kind of more so small town-ish feeling. I mean the traffic can be crazy and so can the lines in the Costco.
This weeks goals –
(bigger and smaller things that need to be done.)
Write for Dancing Poet Creative Media and finish putting together the 30- Day Social Media Blast Class
Get the Wireless Network working on my Xbox
Run a few errands (Kohls and Hobby Lobby)
Write a short story
Get a 6-mile run in by the end of the week
Next Weeks Goals –
Apply for jobs
Start planning Dancing Poet Creative Media’s 30- Day Social Media Blast Class Launch Party.
Work on 30- Day Social Media Blast Class UPDATE: 4/18/15 Which you can get for FREE when you sign up for Dancing Poet Creative Media’s newsletter
Put together Pamphlet for Dancing Poet Creative Media’s Social Media Services
Start pre-planning and cooking my own food. All Julie & Julia like. I like that movie.
I am back from South Africa. It was so beautiful. Now I am all inspired and ready for the New Year! Have you written up your New Year’s Resolutions? (I did. Read mine here.)
Often, when South Africa or anywhere in Africa comes to mind, many people get images of women balancing baskets or jugs of water on their heads, while walking down gravel paths that run throughout the countryside. Or they think of the mud huts that people must live in or the wild lions and animals that roam the country.
Thing is, South Africa is actually a very modernized country, but if I might say I often felt like it was part 1st world country and part 3rd world country as there were really lovely areas, but also very dirty and poor areas as well. Oh, and side note… there are no wild lions or dangerous animals roaming around. (All the wild and dangerous animals are in the reserves, which have fences keeping them in.) Continue reading “Out of South Africa”
I had a sharp imagination when I was a child—I believe I still do today. But when I was young, my imagination seemed so much more real.
I remember my siblings and I would stay out in the woods for hours on end, as the evening slowly set in. I’m still greatly inspired by nature, and am always looking for new ways to capture the feeling I get when I’m innature, so I can use it in my writing.
As adults, we live busy lives. But if we are constantly busy, we will miss out on all the story ideas around us. And if we don’t write them down, we do forget them.
Some of us also find ourselves stuck for story ideas because, instead of looking to the world we live in for inspiration, we see the rushed, unromantic lives we’re living.
But it all depends on the point of view. Look at your life through the lens of a camera, and then suddenly things will start to look different.
Have you ever gone on a trip and been amazed by the beauty of your surroundings? Do you wish you still had the sharp imagination you had when you were little? Do you wish there was a way you could keep track of the story ideas you get when you’re on trips, or visiting new places?
I just got back from an amazing conference in Vegas. It was filled with artists, photographers, writers, and designers. I had an amazing time! Can’t wait till next year. I thought I’d cover something dealing with health and traveling.
Many people have been asking me, “How does a person stay in shape, while traveling a lot?”
This used to be a major question that I wondered about as well, but lately I’ve busted the answer to the question. Well, at least for me.
Do you travel a lot? For business or for play? Do you feel like you come away from traveling unhealthier than you started off?