We all know that when it comes to real life, that Hollywood movies are fun to watch, but that they aren’t really realistic especially when it comes to long-distance relationships. I know from experience. So I wanted to shed some light on the truths behind these lies.
Why You Shouldn’t Get Discouraged By Hollywood’s Lies about Long-Distance Relationships
If you don’t know my story, I’ll share a little about that here. My husband, Johan, and I were in a long-distance relationship for 5.5 years, while we were still dating.I met him when studying abroad in Australia.
…And long story short, we thrived in and out of our long-distance relationship. Of course there were ups and downs. We made it work. That’s the important thing. I want to encourage you to ignore the lies about long-distance relationships that the world tries throwing at you, because more than anything it’s just going to discourage you.
What you need to do instead, is listen to those who have gone before you. I’m here to guide you, hold your hand, and chat with you over a chai latte in a coffee shop to tell you it’s normal and that you don’t have to listen to the lies. I totally care about you and your relationship.
1. Long-Distance Relationships Don’t Work
This is the big one.
You hear this one all the time in movies, TV shows, and even in other areas of pop culture. Besides that you’ll also have people you know and strangers asking you questions filled with doubt about long-distance relationships and whether it’ll work.
I didn’t blame the people I met who who were curious about my relationship, and whether it would work or not. I was a little irritated at times, but now looking back on it, I realize they didn’t know and were probably seeing all the things in pop culture and Hollywood about long-distance relationships not working. So they don’t know. (I’ll write another post about things people shouldn’t say to couples in long-distance relationships. I’ll post that sometime soon!)
The worst thing I was told about my long-distance relationship was “So, what are you going to do now… break up?” That comment really insulted me, but I pushed it out of my mind and continued crossing the distance for Johan.
For Long-Distance Relationships That Don’t Work…
If one doesn’t work, there’s usually a reason for that. Those reasons may include: using the whole “long-distance relationships never work” statement, because they want out, listening to other people’s opinions, talking to friends or other people about all the problems and troubles you are having in your relationship, or that they aren’t committed, or because they want to meet other people. And then the last one, is that maybe the couple isn’t right together. But that’s usually the couple you see in the Hollywood movies.
I once met a lady who when she found out I was in a long-distance relationship, told me she was too. After talking a bit longer, I found she wasn’t in one anymore. She said she liked going out and meeting other guys. And she told me that her boyfriend didn’t like that. I can see why…
BIG TAKEAWAY: Long-distance relationships do work.You just have to cross the distance (I use this term often. Meaning that you have to try your hardest to show your partner you love them through what you do, to make sure they feel loved in their love language.) Couples who are in the same place also have to cross the distance for their partner in order to keep their relationship healthy.
2. Hollywood Makes Them Seem Too Easy
When you are flying in planes and traveling through multiple airports you don’t show up at your destination looking like a model from a movie. Unless you are in a movie.
Sorry, but it’s more like an episode of the Walking Dead when you arrive at your destination. You are tired. You need a shower. You are hungry and possibly irritated = a hangry and dirty feeling person who desperately wants to take a nap without worrying about falling asleep on your neighbor.
On the other side of things, Hollywood can make it seem too easy in other ways too. One of the BIG decisions in long-distance relationships is figuring out where you’ll live and who will have to leave their family and country. Not a fun discussion.
I absolutely LOVE Letters To Juliet, and wish this situation were this easy.
3. They Don’t Show The Day-To-Day Struggles
There are day-to-day struggles in long-distance relationships, just like in same-place relationships. But the distance makes it harder. Sometimes you just need a hug from your partner, but you can’t get a hug, because he’s not on the same continent or same time zone. Or you really want to call them to tell about something happening in your day, but you can’t because they are sleeping.
Or another struggle we haven’t even mentioned yet: technology. It doesn’t always work.
4. They Give Up WAY Too Easily
Seriously, it’s like they give up, before it’s even started. Here the character loves their partner, but all of a sudden they dump them when they find out their lover is moving to another State.
…And as Forest Gump said, “That’s all I need to say about that.”
5. They Apparently Don’t Need A Passport Or Visa To Travel
One thing that gets me every time I watch a movie that happens to have a couple in a long-distance relationship in it, is how easily they travel. They don’t often have missed connections, delayed flights, or have to go through the process of getting a visa. There’s no mention of it. Or how long you have to wait for one.
Or the process of getting a fiancé visa, which is something completely different. Here’s a little peak into when we got our invitation to have our interview.
In real life, the person must get a visa depending on the country you’re from and which country you are traveling to. But, there are some countries you don’t need visas to, but most need them.
You Can See Hollywood Isn’t Very Realistic
I just wanted to share this so that you don’t get discouraged by the movies and pop culture we live in. Long-distance relationships do work, but the couple just has to be committed. They are relationships of the future. Especially with all the technology we have. We have it a lot easier than the couples who got to communicate through letters and would have to wait weeks for a reply. That’s a beautiful image. We need more of that kind of love in our world today. More of that kind of commitment. That’s what makes any relationship work.
Are you in a long-distance relationship? Or do you know someone in one? (If so, share this post with them!)